March 22, 2011

Stefan and Bugs

First Of All: Do you ever get a word stuck in your head? Kind of like a song but it's a word instead? Like perspicacious or serendipity? Or names? Yesterday I had an NPR reporter's name running through my mind, a sports reporter named Stefan Fatsis. Fatsis. So fun to say! I'm mean, how does that even happen???? Words stuck in your head????? This is Stefan Fatsis BTW.





What. A. Dork. Me, not him. He's pretty awesome. I just found out from Wikipedia that he's married to Melissa Block. How amazing is that? I love NPR:):)

Back to me= dork. I know, I know, things such as my OCD mind chants should stay in my head (Bekah, be quiet) and NEVER see the light of day. Oh well. I hope someone else has this tic/problem too. I'm not that strange, am I? My baby thinks I'm awesome:) And so does my hubby, combined with occasional thoughts of "What a dork I've married."


Also, I wanted to tell you about the insects in my house. A lot of what I'm about to write is preeeetty horrifying information so look away if you'd like.

So we have insects. Lots of them:
  1. Recently I saw tiny ants and
  2. Medium sized black ants. They woke with spring and came exploring.
  3. A tiny roach (?)(lets hope not) on its back on the stairs.
  4. Normal centipedes.
  5. Weird alien centipedes with wispy long antennae/legs (hard to tell case it was caught on a sticky mouse trap).
  6. Not an insect but we have the occasional mouse, caught by the traps. So sad because they think this house is theirs. Don't know any way to tell them we own it now:(
  7. Again not insects but we have seen: deer, squirrels, and raccoons.
  8. Spiders- no giant wolf spiders but every other variety. Hopefully no shuddershuddershudder poisonous ones for my boy to pick up and eat.
  9. Wasps horrershuddergrossdiealittleinside that could land on my BABY.
  10. Earwigs. Harmless. Yuck still.
WHY DIDN'T WE CONSIDER THE INSECT/ANIMAL LIFE BEFORE BUYING A HOUSE IN THE WOODS??????? A HOUSE THAT HAD BEEN VACANT FOR 2 YEARS???????????

Sigh.

My philosophy on insects is KILL ZEM. KILL ZEM ALL. Except recently I decided to weed some spiders out of that category.

Service announcement: Those of you without 7 month old babies: appreciate your uninterrupted lives that have less love in them. This will only make sense when you actually have a baby so keep ignoring me for now.

Back to spiders. Did you know they kill other pests? I did but that mattered not in the fight for Less Fear In the World. Did you know that if you kill spiders and other carnivorous insects, the pests will take over? There are fewer carnivorous insects than there are pesky insects to begin with and if we kill all the spiders, that balance is tilted toward the OTHER bad guys (less frightening looking insects). I hope our spiders eat: ants, earwigs, WASPS, and other things I hate. Like pollution, laundry, and poopy diaper.

I feel that all insects in my house and in my hair are bad guys. Especially the ones that fly/crawl into my hair. Like WASPS. I hate you wasps.

But now I'm letting the spiders live. The smaller ones can stay in the house if they want. The bigger, ickier ones are now banished outside instead of being killed. The other day I even showered (carefully) with a smalltiny spider. With my glasses on (the glasses were on me, not the spider). In the shower. Couldn't see much!

The wasps are always killed though. ALWAYS. If only we could find the true source of their origin in the house.

Wasps, Torment to My Soul
By Sarah The Magnificent
Cursed wasps, why do you torment me?
Through you I have found my first real phobia.
And it is not pretty.
What if my baby catches my fear?
I want him to grow undaunted. Fearless.
A fighter.
Yet I fear what I fear, he will fear.
I shall irradiate you all before he grows.

No one out there is allowed to tell me wasps are good insects. Or that my poem sucks:)

2 comments:

  1. Currently living with my parents in their century-old (or nearly) farmhouse means I have taken my share of showers in the close company of insects and arachnids. And beetles. Urgh. Come to think of it, there were two ladybugs in my shower this morning. It's so that I don't even give it much thought anymore.
    Soldier on!
    My favorite part is KILL ZEM ALL.

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  2. A) This post makes me suspect you're losing it.
    B) I don't think C makes a good judge of character. He thinks dogs are just as cool as you are at this point in his life.
    C) I don't think J makes a good judge of character either. He's married to you. He's REQUIRED to like you.
    D) Last summer, I once woke up in my house because an earwig was crawling in my bed with me...Sleep well!!!

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