- There are times when I feel like a truly sucky mother because my 8 month old STILL doesn't sleep through the night. Sometimes I get so frustrated repeatedly helping him fall asleep that I want to let him scream himself to sleep and I hate that feeling. Makes me cry and rush to him after only a couple of minutes. Which leads to:
- There are times when I want to smack anyone who gives me any kind of parenting advice when I don't ask for it. I should also stick to this and sometime smack myself. Also:
- There are times when I want to stop listening to and reading what other people have done successfully with their kid and go live in a cave so no one will contribute my already "is this how I raise my kid right?" feelings.
- There are times when I feel like a lazy ass when I find a damp load of clothes in the dryer smelling nice and musty. Wonderful. Now I only have 12,000 loads of laundry to do today.
- There are times when I read the news and National Geographic and I lose faith in humanity. We are so divided and unthinkingly destructive.
- There are times when I want to be emotionally immature and hold a grudge or get angry for what someone has "done to me". I have to fight this to be accepting of others and look at the big picture and remember I LOVE/LIKE THESE PEOPLE. And no, I'm not talking about you, don't worry:)
- There are times when I want to spend time with my hubby, just me and him. And then I tell myself shut up, think how lucky you are to actually HAVE him.
- There are times when I wish I wouldn't tell myself how good I have it. Even lucky people deserve to wallow sometimes, right?
- There are times when I wish people and relationships didn't change with distance, age, and time.
- And there are times when I wish people would just grow up and grow a pair. This applies to me as well:)
- There are times when I hopehopehope I will be a good mama. When I plead/beg whoever/whatever to please let me do this parenting thing right. I want my kid to know I love him unconditionally, no matter anything. Which is what I whisper to him as he screams and goes through this "Sleep is for the WEAK!!!" phase.
- There are times when I wish everyone would think EXACTLY as I do. And then we'd all be so dull that we'd collectively explode and actually implode, simultaneously.
- And last, the one that bothers me a little: There are times when I gleefully murder the ants that crawl on my counters. What is wrong with me???
April 28, 2011
There Are Times...
My sweet and happy SIL posted a "There are times..." status on Facebook today that made me think. This has been a kinda awful week for me in a few ways that I won't ramble on about. Oh wait, I probably will. This week makes me want to wallow and I probably will after I get done writing this supposedly upbeat post.
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Not trying to give you parenting advice, but not sleeping through the night at 8 months does NOT make you a bad mother. Kai still wakes at night and he is 15 months. Some kids are just better sleepers. You are a great mom. And I murder ants all the time.
ReplyDeletehahahahaha wait. i mean, the last one was funny. the rest of it ... wow, sounds like all the thoughts running through MY head lately and I'm not even a mama. unsolicited advice is so rough to take gracefully, especially when you're already doubting absolutely every decision you've ever made in your life ever.
ReplyDeleteThanks Mandie. Yeah, I tell myself that but sometimes I just don't listen, you know? :)
ReplyDeleteChris- Yep. Nothing to add to that;) You said it all. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger???
Me too. All of those things! Me too!
ReplyDeleteOh, and I'm sorry if I've ever given you advice. I probably have. I don't mean to but I find myself doing that sometimes. I have changed my mind about so many things over the past two and a half years that I think mommies don't really know anything about anybody's baby but their own. The more babies and mommies I get to know the more understanding I become.
ReplyDeleteNo Michele, you are fine! :) I love your last comment and TOTALLY agree with it! I can read all the books and listen to all the advice but my baby doesn't care about ANY of it! He does what he wants and drags me along:)
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