$ and Other

Today is March 31, the last day of the month!! In my world that means getting the budget saved, cleared, and ready for next today's paycheck:) Tomorrow I pay bills!! BTW, does anyone not do direct deposit anymore?

Sadly, awfully, this month we went over our budget in many of the 9 categories.... BAD US!!! With the higher gas prices, we might need to raise our gasoline amount, even though we already raised it by $50 anticipating J's longer commute post-new house. Actually, the reason we went over this month is my road trip to St. Louis to visit the darling AbbyandNate:) BTW, I think no more Mommy + C road trips for a while!! It wasn't terribly hard but definitely more of a challenge than it was 7 months ago:) J MUST go next time I drive 5 hours anywhere!!

And the grocery budget- I don't even want to think about that. Seems like most months we go over in that area. Grrrr..... Dang eco-local-humane conscious us. Hard to stay in budget when you shop for what we consider responsible food.... We go out to eat once a week and the rest of the time I cook our meals... I reeeally don't want to raise this area of our budget since it's already so high but we might have to. I already make our bread, all meals, breakfasts, etc. from scratch. Ideas????

Currently I'm am:

• Listening to children's music, finding something cool enough for both me and the kid to listen to. Generally we just listen to my music but C perks up and gets excited when he hears a child's voice in music or on toys. Poor boy, hanging around adults alllllll day must get pretty dull. Personally, I puke up kid music sang by kids so that makes my task here a bit more demanding.... I'm looking in to Ziggy Marley, Lisa Loeb, They Might Be Giants, Charlotte DIamond and more based on recommendations. All we have now is Elizabeth Mitchell, who(m?) I love:) Anyone have other kid music with a spattering of kid voices?

• Wishing I had my own laptop. Soon:) Maybe a 1-2 more weeks? THEN IT'S OFF TO THE APPLE STORE!!!!! And then I'll spend all my time on my computer and C will have to learnt to raise himself. Being an excessively brilliant child, this won't be a problem for us.

• Getting off here to conquer my long list of jobs. Seriously, this whole Stay At Home Mom thing seemed a lot easier when I wasn't one. That goes for being Mom too. Working 24 hours a day (even every grueling 2-3 hours at night!!!), every weekend, even while on vacation?!?!?!?! All for only hugs, kisses, screaming, drool, poop/pee, spit up, grins, giggles, constant carrying of 20 pounds, and cuddles? Totally worth it:) Best boss EVER and I'm learning more now than I did in any other career. Plus my colleague is hot and oh so understanding and wonderful!!

• REMINDS ME!!!! C POOPED AND PEED IN HIS POTTY THIS MORNING. Made that diaper change so much easier:)

The 4 Rs

Today's post:::::::::: THE 4 Rs!!!!!!! Reduce, reuse, recycle, rethink. Sigh I love them so.

Note- there is a VERY good chance I will drone on and on and on about this topic since it's something I am passionate about (but have never written about?? What's up with that??). I will try to be concise, also something I am not great at. I'm TOTALLY going to be one of those old people who everyone avoids because I cannot stop talking about my grandkids, aches and pains, kids these days, what's the world coming to, etc.

Reuse- these were around our dangerous (and yes, still dangerous since it isn't filled in completely) pond. I'm giving them away on Craigslist. Also, that little bridge in the background is going too. Anything we outgrow, won't use, don't need we pass to family members or give away/sell on Craigslist. BTW, if anyone wants the stuff in the picture, speak now!!! We also have a free flagpole!!! Removal is all up to you though;)

Reuse- This is the guest room. Progress in this room has not actually been shared with the Internet so don't tell anyone you saw this picture:) We're saving a lot of those boards to make raised beds for our garden and for building stuff (bookshelves? I dunno, we'll see when time magically expands and we have more of it).

Recycle- This is all from the garage clean out. I need to go tear down those boxes before Thursday, then lug them down our LOOOOONG driveway for recycling. PS- see how the trashcan lid is slightly ajar? Don't do that when you have raccoon neighbors!!! I need to clean that up too now.

Recycle- We fill this little trashcan up 2-4 times a week and dump it in a bigger trashcan in the garage. When it's full, we drag it to the curb for Thursday recycling. Most recycling services offered by trash companies cost anywhere from $5-15 every quarter. That comes to $5 (at the most!!!) a month. The biggest reason I hear from everyone about not recycling is the cost. Pretty sure anyone could afford $5 a month!!!

And most recycling services don't even make you sort the trash!!! All we do it dump everything recyclable in one small trashcan in the kitchen then transfer it to our designated garage trashcan!! Our trash company, CGS, gave us a recycling bin but it's waaaay to small for the amount we recycle! Set the recycling container on the curb with your trash and be happy for your kids (or nieces/nephews)!!!! THEY are the ones who will really deal with all this crap we're putting in our environment.

Rethink- We don't use paper plates, plastic cups, or disposable napkins. Think about it: if you invest $20-30 in cloth napkins, that's pretty much all you'll spend for years on wiping your mouth while you are eating. PS- We do keep all those disposable things on hand for big parties. When you have 15-20 people over you might not have enough real dishes, cups, or napkins for everyone. Other things we do:

• Cloth diapers for C
• Compost our kitchen scraps
• Buy gallons of milk instead of 1/2 gallons
• Buy big bags of chips, cereal, large containers of yogurt, etc. instead of individual, smaller containers
• Installed a whole house water filter so we will NEVER have to buy bottled water. We have reusable water bottles for traveling.

Do you recycle? Please tell me that you do!! Sometimes I get kinda down about American society and our desperate need for stuff to fill our lives. We save to buy that shirt/game/thing we want but not to responsibly dispose of the trash WE create?

If you don't recycle, please consider signing up for it! Set a date (like April 1 or Earth Day, April 22) and commit to calling and getting recycling added to your trash service. And if they don't offer it, tell the company you would love to see it added. And then bag up your recyclables and cart them every few weeks to a public recycling facility. Fun...

PS- Have you ever watched The Story of Stuff? Very interesting!!!!

Sunday Garage Cleanout

Yesterday we ignored the:

1. painting
2. tree chopping
3. electrical work
4. plumbing

to just go crazy on the garage. Because that's the kind of people we are: ignorant:) And with our house, there are PLENTY of projects to ignore!!!

Here are pretty Along the Way pictures for you to oooooo and ahhhhhh over!!!

This was nearly everything we emptied from our 2 car garage. And hey, there's really more that because the camera wasn't wide enough to capture everything!!! Bonus points for anyone who can spot the baby hidden in the mess!! He's in his exersaucer, hidden behind the red crate. PS- exersaucer is the brand name I think. What do you call it if you don't have that brand? Standing baby containing round apparatus with toys?

Also, the weather might look sunny and lovely but it was actually pretty nippy at only 40 degrees. C didn't like being outside in chilly temps so we traded Baby Duty on and off all day.

This is our drive way after!!!! We worked from about 10 until 6ish. Look at the big recycle/trash pile!!

Left side of the garage before and after. So glad our garage has so many shelves for storage, made organization easier!

Right side before and after. Pretty much everything on the right (minus compost bin, freezer, bikes, and wheelbarrows) is destined for Habitat for Humanity or Craigslist. If anyone reading this wants: oldish trash compacter, medium sized cheap bookshelf, a sink, various cheap waist level shelves, a World Market daybed minus the mattress, ect, please let me know. Free to you!!!

Everything else went here: recycle/trash, in the mudroom for the dining room (when the walls are done) and guest room (when the carpet/walls are done), in the dining room for me to organize and away.

~Sigh~ I love a clean garage:)

BTW- Our house warming party will be in May, when the dining room/kitchen trim is done, the dining room walls are repaired and painted, and the guest room is carpeted and its wall are repaired and painted. Thanks for the advice!!! I will mark a date on my calendar in PEN!!!!

My House

Okay blog readers, I have a question for you. Pretend you have a house and it's a fixer upper/lifelong project you mostly enjoy. You want to have a big housewarming-esque party soon (since you've lived in this house for almost 3 months). But you are a perfectionist who doesn't stop working until *everything* is done *just right*. SOO when do you have this party? WHEN?????

In January, I said we would party in March and now March is almost over. Lately I've said the party will be in April, as soon as I'm done painting the trim in the kitchen and dining room. Or maybe the beginning of May so we can get the yard looking nicer. But then it occurred to me we might want to have the screened in porch painted so people can hang out in there, not just inside. That led to the thought: well, may as well wait until June when it is warm so we can entertain on the balcony too, since there will be so many people here (yeah, I'm that popular) (eye rolling commences). However, the balcony needs painted and sealed so that would have to come first, BEFORE the party. Nono, that's too much. But we really should do the balcony before we party in April. No, we won't have time for that. Well, wait, how about as soon as the pond is filled in? Sometime in April? But then we still have to re-carpet the guest room. Oh, and pant it and the pink hallway bathroom. Oh, and I really should make some decent curtains for our bathroom. Well, what about the deck? I need more patio furniture for people to sit on. Oh, I need to get the dining room finished soon, the house is a wreck right now. And I need to try much harder to paint tomorrow, gotta get the trim done. Maybe I'll wait until I've painted the trim in the living roomt too?

NOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So basically, our first GIANT party is going to happen in about 5 years.

Tell me this: WHERE DO YOU DRAW THE LINE????? Please tell me to not freak out about getting everything done. Yeah right, do you KNOW me??? But then what do I set as my "Get This Stuff Done Then Party" limit? Because our to do list is 5 pages long. Typed. Sad.

Picture Post

Today you will be inundated with pictures of my life and baby. LOOK AWAY, THE BEAUTY IS OVERPOWERING!!!!! OMGZ!!!

Lilly (C's cousin), E (daughter of my college friend), and C. Lilly is about 2 weeks older than E and E is about 2 weeks older than C. Look at those smiles!! And you should have heard them all whining at once! Such a wonderful symphony! ;) Even better was when they were all napping at once:)

Hail that we got on Wednesday night. Wait, this shot is out of order. Woops, imagine it AFTER the sunny pics of C that are next. And you should have heard the hail on all our (8?) skylights!! THUNDEROUS!!!

Sweet C loves being outside. He dislikes eating grass and dried leaves but enjoys sticks. I think he would gladly play outside for HOURS without realizing he is hungry or tired! Makes it easier for me to get yard work done! We'll see how this happy arrangement changes when he starts crawling.... BTW, while outside, he got up on all fours and rocked back and forth! Oh no, he might learn how to crawl soon....

He wants the camera:) It's big, black, and YUMMY!!!

Daffodils are GROSS!!! Whose idea was it to hand me this flower? ICK!!

Got all my seeds in order! I'll plant the first ones this weekend (after I buy some soil and dig my heat mats out of a box hidden in the vast recesses of our messy garage...)!!!

C likes to tip and tilt like this when he's happy:) He often does it when people talk to him cause he's just so thrilled to have the social interaction! Mommy is old news;) I think this kid might actually have to go to preschool since he's such a social butterfly! Errands are C's favorite part of the day because he can get the attention of people who will coo and talk to him. BTW, I'm pretty sure J is happy in this pic.... looks a little annoyed at me for springing the camera on him as soon as he got home....

C has a new favorite sound: snorting. And he looks and sounds like a little pig when he does it!

Typical C- spit up boy. Only happens 1-3 times a day now. SOOO much nicer than 3-4 times after every meal:)

7 month old boy, cheesing for his monthly picture:)

10 Things I Love About Breastfeeding

This post was inspired by a blog a friend recommended:) BTW, there's a pic of C breastfeeding on here. Not meant to make anyone feel awkward but to show how natural nursing is and how that's what breasts are made for:) Look away if you want to:)

C was exclusively breastfed until about 5.5 months old, when he started eating table food in soft form. Boy does he love our food (and plates)!

C used to eat every 1-2 hours as a newbie, spending at least 30 minutes to fill up. Long meals:) Now he can go up to 4-5 hours without nursing (when he's busy!!) but generally eats every 2-3 hours, for about 10 minutes at a time. He's growing up!!

Breastfeeding was really simple for me and C. I know this isn't true of some moms and babes though:( The only discomfort I've had was all in C's first weeks of life: uterine cramps while he ate for the first week and restless legs for the first 3-4 weeks. Oddly, as soon as C latched as a newbie (and for the duration of his 30+ minutes of eating) my legs went CRAZY! I had to walk while nursing him since sitting was unbearable!! But I had really bad RLS the last half of my pregnancy anyway.

These days C still nurses for most his nutrients but our nursing relationship has changed. He's so interested in everything happening outside his meal, he eats faster so we have less nursing time, and he stays awake after most meals. His sweet newborn days of being "drunk on milk" are pretty much gone:)

So, here's 10 Things I Love About Breastfeeding:

1. Love that I can feed my kiddo food made ~exactly~ for his stage of life. Amazing to think my milk changes as C grows and his nutritional needs change! I make food perfectly matched for his brain, health, future, and more! He'll have a better immune system, fewer infections, lower risk of SIDS, higher intelligence, lower childhood and adult diseases, and even be at a lower risk of obesity!! He'll be a healthier person forever because he's a breastfed baby!
2. Free!!! Can we say AWESOME?!?! Of course I need to eat more but I've basically kept my pregnancy diet (lots of protein, veggies, fruits, and at least 8-10 glasses of water/milk daily).
3. Easy peasy to make. Baby is hungry? Just pop out the boob!! Easy to soothe. Baby banged his head and is screaming? Pop out the boob!
4. I get plenty of time to clean C's: ears, eye goop, neck folds, fuzzes on his face/hair, and any other tiny nuisances flawing my kid's beautiful face. As my sister Leah told me when C was tiny, breastfed babies are very groomed babies! Ps- check out Leah's blog for a sweet post about C and his cousin Lilly!
5. I get to cuddle my boy. So nice. So unbelievably nice:) Holding a sleeping babe everyday is vital to a mama's mental health!
6. I get to play with C's chubby hands, legs, and feet. Now that he's older, he plays too; with my lips, chin, necklace, and anything his absently swaying hand can reach. Priceless:)
7. I get to try to make C laugh while he's eating. Most times I succeed and he pulls off to smile a mouth full of drool and milk:)
8. I can catch up on news, FB, e-mail, and anything Internety for at least 1 hour each day. Very often more;) Many days this is the only way I check my e-mail!! Love my smart phone!!
9. While it can be frustrating to be the ONLY thing that my baby wants sometimes, especially at evening bedtime, it is amazing. Pretty much nothing makes C happier than nursing.
10. I lost allllll my pregnancy weight. And more. Oops. So now I can happily eat fatty foods like butter, whole milk, heavy whipping cream, and seconds and thirds of any meal I want. In fact I HAVE to eat that way now! So much yummy food:)
11. ETA- 7 months and no return of my menstrual cycle:) Well, 16 months counting my pregnancy. Is pushing a baby out worth 16 months of no period? Very debatable!!!!

So there you have it! Hopefully C will continue nursing until he's at least 1 year old (as the American Academy of Pediatrics advises) and I'd love him to nurse beyond that (World Health Organization recommends 2 years).

And if you want to learn more now or one day, just read So That's What They're For!, The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding, and The Breastfeeding Book. Or (and I HIGHLY recommend this!) go to your local La Leche League meetings. You'll meet friends, get support, and have your questions answered.

Stefan and Bugs

First Of All: Do you ever get a word stuck in your head? Kind of like a song but it's a word instead? Like perspicacious or serendipity? Or names? Yesterday I had an NPR reporter's name running through my mind, a sports reporter named Stefan Fatsis. Fatsis. So fun to say! I'm mean, how does that even happen???? Words stuck in your head????? This is Stefan Fatsis BTW.

What. A. Dork. Me, not him. He's pretty awesome. I just found out from Wikipedia that he's married to Melissa Block. How amazing is that? I love NPR:):)

Back to me= dork. I know, I know, things such as my OCD mind chants should stay in my head (Bekah, be quiet) and NEVER see the light of day. Oh well. I hope someone else has this tic/problem too. I'm not that strange, am I? My baby thinks I'm awesome:) And so does my hubby, combined with occasional thoughts of "What a dork I've married."

Also, I wanted to tell you about the insects in my house. A lot of what I'm about to write is preeeetty horrifying information so look away if you'd like.

So we have insects. Lots of them:

1. Recently I saw tiny ants and
2. Medium sized black ants. They woke with spring and came exploring.
3. A tiny roach (?)(lets hope not) on its back on the stairs.
4. Normal centipedes.
5. Weird alien centipedes with wispy long antennae/legs (hard to tell case it was caught on a sticky mouse trap).
6. Not an insect but we have the occasional mouse, caught by the traps. So sad because they think this house is theirs. Don't know any way to tell them we own it now:(
7. Again not insects but we have seen: deer, squirrels, and raccoons.
8. Spiders- no giant wolf spiders but every other variety. Hopefully no shuddershuddershudder poisonous ones for my boy to pick up and eat.
9. Wasps horrershuddergrossdiealittleinside that could land on my BABY.
10. Earwigs. Harmless. Yuck still.

WHY DIDN'T WE CONSIDER THE INSECT/ANIMAL LIFE BEFORE BUYING A HOUSE IN THE WOODS??????? A HOUSE THAT HAD BEEN VACANT FOR 2 YEARS???????????

Sigh.

My philosophy on insects is KILL ZEM. KILL ZEM ALL. Except recently I decided to weed some spiders out of that category.

Service announcement: Those of you without 7 month old babies: appreciate your uninterrupted lives that have less love in them. This will only make sense when you actually have a baby so keep ignoring me for now.

Back to spiders. Did you know they kill other pests? I did but that mattered not in the fight for Less Fear In the World. Did you know that if you kill spiders and other carnivorous insects, the pests will take over? There are fewer carnivorous insects than there are pesky insects to begin with and if we kill all the spiders, that balance is tilted toward the OTHER bad guys (less frightening looking insects). I hope our spiders eat: ants, earwigs, WASPS, and other things I hate. Like pollution, laundry, and poopy diaper.

I feel that all insects in my house and in my hair are bad guys. Especially the ones that fly/crawl into my hair. Like WASPS. I hate you wasps.

But now I'm letting the spiders live. The smaller ones can stay in the house if they want. The bigger, ickier ones are now banished outside instead of being killed. The other day I even showered (carefully) with a smalltiny spider. With my glasses on (the glasses were on me, not the spider). In the shower. Couldn't see much!

The wasps are always killed though. ALWAYS. If only we could find the true source of their origin in the house.

Wasps, Torment to My Soul

By Sarah The Magnificent

Cursed wasps, why do you torment me?

Through you I have found my first real phobia.

And it is not pretty.

What if my baby catches my fear?

I want him to grow undaunted. Fearless.

A fighter.

Yet I fear what I fear, he will fear.
I shall irradiate you all before he grows.

No one out there is allowed to tell me wasps are good insects. Or that my poem sucks:)

My Day

Yesterday was a busy day. Want to see? If not, go read something else a tad more interesting than my mundane life:)

Not in this order, but I did this yesterday:

1. Packed and shipped my laptop away. Bye bye! Hello soon to a new one!!
2. Washed 3 loads of laundry. Didn't fold them....
3. Did a few loads of dishes. Sink and counters are covered in more waiting to be done right now...
4. Ate a yummy lunch and finished this delightful book (finished it last night while Munchkin was sleeping).

1. Made and baked 2 loaves of bread. Slow cooker-ed black beans for recipes and freezing.
2. Froze beans, pasta sauce, and one pasta casserole. Ate the other pasta casserole for dinner;)
3. Made the pasta sauce. Pretty!!!
4. Cleaned the house. Obviously it needs cleaned again today because HEAVEN FORBID it stay clean more than one day;)
5. Visited my grandmother.
6. Most of this was done with C strapped to my back in the Ergo. Love the Ergo for my curious boy :D

This is what C did:

1. Tiny napped. Played. Whined.
2. Spit up everywhere except his bib. Mommy changed him. He still smelled icky but OH WELL.
3. Looked cute.
4. Fell over and bonked his head on the wood floor. Nursing made it better.
5. Fell over and bonked his head on the wood floor. Nursing made it better.
6. Bonked his head on Mommy's head (mean Mommy's fault!!!). Nursing and a nap made it better. Napped medium.
7. Dug in his toys.
8. Entertained LOTS of people at great-grandmother's nursing home. Had SOOO much fun being the center of attention.
9. BONKED HIS HEAD AGAIN. Mommy needs to remember to set him on BLANKETS.
10. Went to bed. Sad sad boy:(

Here's what Sadie did:

1. Slept. All day.
2. Ate C's food scraps.
3. Probably ate her own poop while outside.

The Super Excellent Schedule

Today I made this:

Been meaning to for a while.

Ever since we moved in here, I've been dashing around from task to task like a chicken with its head cut off. Ick. I think now my house will be cleaner and my time will be spent more efficiently. And OMG do I love efficiency:)

So now I have a schedule for me and a schedule for baby C. I've found that if I don't have something like this, I tend to become a slobby blob, C gets bored, and life falls apart. J and I are finding out C gets bored VERY easily (hmmm, wonder who that sounds like!) and it drives me crazy having to dash from a chore to him, back to working, then to playing. The schedule will solve EVERYTHING, did you know? With it, I've got things to play/do with him while he's awake and a list of jobs I NEED to get done while he naps.

AND THE LAUNDRY. OMG. SO MUCH.

How do you parents do this? 15,000 loads of laundry a week!?!? C used to be a super good spitter upper but has since learned the folly of his ways, which decreased our VAST amounts of laundry. Still, there is A LOT. Add to that cloth diapers. Weekend work/paint clothes + regular clothes. 1 million bibs daily for my drooler (C, not J). Have I made it clear that the laundry never ends?

The schedule will do the laundry for me now:) AND fold it:) GLEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!

The sad thing is, even though I have a made An Excellent Schedule, the house is such a pit from our busyness and minor house revovations that everything on my list needed to be done today:( Paperwork, grocery, laundry, cleaning, dishes, dinner, sweeping, vacuum, bathrooms. Everything:( I got to most of it but am leaving in 30 minutes for the Indy Homebirth Support Group. Cramming in dinner, nursing the babe, and leaving. Hanging with some fun mamas then coming back to put C to bed and get some J cuddle time:)

The schedule will get everything I didn't have time to do while I'm gone:)

Ze Lovely House

Sometimes when I think back to November, December, and January, I wonder how we survived. We had a 3-5 month old baby, packed up the second house we'd lived in in 3 months, moved to a third, bought a house that came with SO much work, worked on it 6 days a week, packed again, and moved. I would explain in great detail how incredibly stressful and busy it was but that would take too long.

Oh. My.

I'm so glad we have a home again:) I love our needy home:)

And maybe tomorrow or early next week I'll show you our dining room and kitchen without those funky bookshelves that I hated. I think we can all agree that space for storing book is to be cherished but COME ON. These things were pretty hideous. And pretty soon I'll show you how they are all gone:) Today begins Wall Repair Day and with focus, they'll be done on Monday!

I'm going to get my hair cut in 2 hours! With my baby! Wish me luck!!

Here are some pictures of our lives in the past month or so!

This pile of junk was our basement. J and Friends ripped it out. J and Friends moved it to the driveway. J and Sarah moved it to a dumpster. Sarah forgot to take pictures of the last step but it was TIRING!!!

The hood over our stove. It was black so I thought: black metal, huh! Then I scrubbed and found it was not black, it was stainless steel. FUN!!! Notice how the left side is partially washed but the right side is black:) Took over an hour. C has preeetty much nursed all my fat and muscles away but I managed to scare the grime into submission!!

The AFTER shot!!! Mostly clean! Decided to give up.

J sweeps the kitchen/dining room roof of leaves. We get to clean the gutters in the spring!!

The Love Shack standing in the weekend's flood. The water actually got higher than this and reached behind the Shack!!

Great picture of Sadie, our ferocious beast, and C, our less ferocious and more fussy beast.

Now C is beating Sadie in the ferocious department as he attempts to gnaw on her flesh.

C would rather be held than watch Mama cook. Almost bedtime!!! Funny thing is, as soon as J comes home he perks right up. Guess I'm that dull to be around:)

Someone at the farmers' market on Saturday was selling basil! Pesto for dinner! C and I happily ate our pasta and then a mango before J came home. Baby was stuffed completely in time for bed and his 1 hour later waking. The kid doesn't wake from hunger, that's for sure!

C Sleep Update

Ignored C when he woke squirming beside me at 6:22 this morn. Continued sleeping.

Ignored that sweet happiness and joy of his at being awake (he's young and naive and didn't stay up with himself at random times last night).

Unswaddled his arms so he could at least suck on his hands and kept sleeping.

Ignored his funny, sweet noises of glee.

Got smacked in the face and forehead was sucked on but continued sleeping.

J came and took the little Booger Boy and I continued sleeping. Until 6:55 :):)

!!!Yay for sleep!!!

I might love it more than food. Nah, they are even. :)

Each night I think about that coming soon day when my baby starts sleeping without me and I know I'm going to so so sosososososo miss cuddling with him all night. In fact, I really should put him in the crib each time he falls back asleep in the middle of the night but can't stand parting with him. Maybe this has to do with our "waking every 1-3 hours" sleep issues??? Hehe. Maybe, but really my boy is not an awesome sleeper when it comes to length. Easy to put to sleep (IMO) (compared to other babies, no, not easy to put to sleep) (compared to C 3 months ago, YES, easy to put to sleep!). In fact, C used to wake only twice a night until DUDUDUM: the 4 month regression hit;)

Back to the point: my babe sleeping not with me. So at 2:34 AM, when I get C nursed and settled back to sleep, I am presented with The Choice: plop him in his crib 6 inches away or curl up with him in the crook of my arm- warm, slumbering, delightfully amazing. And EVERY time, I ignore the crib. And we go to sleep. And we are both ever so happy:)

Upon reflection- my babe wakes every 1-3 hours no matter what- crib, swing, bed, in my arms. It's just him for now. This lovely baby phase we're living through.

Back to sleeping with C- no one ever told me if I bedshare/cosleep, I'll never WANT my baby to leave my bed. It's so unsafe, a bad habit to start, don't do it! was what I read and heard from most people. So I wasn't going to because MY baby would of course sleep easily, DUH! Those babies who didn't sleep well? Well, that was Mom's and Dad's fault. Poor silly parents not knowing how to get a tiny baby to sleep!! My baby would be fine!! I KNEW WHAT I WAS DOING!!! Before I had him....

Then I got him:)

And he is the most lovely person that ever existed but we found early, he is very particular about sleep. So I fearfully bedshared since that was the only way to get him to stay sleeping, talked to my SIL about my worries, and researched how to make it safe.

And NOW it feels very unsafe to have my kiddo in the other room, or even that 6 inches away from me! I get worried (granted, sleep quickly erases this fear!) when he's far from me. When he's near, I KNOW he's fine. I know he's breathing, not smothered in blankets, crib rails, the roof hasn't collapsed on him, spiders aren't eating him, the the trillions of other things out there to get my unguarded babe.

When he sleeps with me, I'm calm. His food (me) is within easy accesses. He is safe and easily comforted. He needs me, I need him. It's this beautiful arrangement that might disrupt our sleep a tad bit but feeds our souls much more. Goofy, I know:) But he's happy and safe and I am so in love and grateful.

And So: We co-sleep to sleep.

For now. End of discussion.

And on a side note, C is now napping in his crib, not his swing:):) Swing are for losers!!! And that's what we were when he slept there 8 till midnight last night. Crib wasn't working for him at bedtime;) Mind you, we are the loers, not our baby. I think he got the best of both of us and the combination blended to perfect for him.

And PS- before you tell me/think this isn't safe, please do realize, as moms, we all think differently. I don't believe in giving my child more than 1 vaccine every 2 months, I think my babe should be responded to each and every time he cries (ie- no crying it out for bed or anything), kids under 2 shouldn't watch TV (C doesn't!), and that boys should not have part of their penises cut off. I try to keep those thoughts to myself when others are raising their kids according to their beliefs. We all love our babes differently, right? We all do the best we possibly can as moms:)